it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
