i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
