I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
