I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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