I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
