The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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