3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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