Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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