Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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