can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
