so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
