What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
