I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
