I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
