I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
