Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve

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(214): View more from Texas

For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.

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(646): View more from New York

She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

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(404): View more from Georgia

Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang

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(707): View more from California

As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.

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(801): View more from Utah

You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.

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(256): View more from Alabama

My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.

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