Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
