She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
