Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
