I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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