The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
