How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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