Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
