Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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