thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
