If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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