Too much gin, very little bucket
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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