I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
