Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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