no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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