Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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