Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
