Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
