Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
accomplished twins. life is a go
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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