By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
