Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
