I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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