Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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