He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
