Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I have aggressive nipples.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
