Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
