and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
