almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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