I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
