I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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