called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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