I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
