addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
