The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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