My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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